Bolt from Beijing

Sport, sport, sport. That's all we ever talk about, I hear you say. I'll keep it brief, but I can't help but marvel at the new 100m and 200m record holder Usain Bolt. Journalists love him because his name makes a great headline (BOLT FROM THE BLUE, THUNDER-BOLT etc) but the rest of us love him simply because he runs bloody quick. I'll get this Bolt-rant off my chest, then we can go back to talking about credit crunches, rain and those naughty Russians.

One word on Russia though. I wonder- how many Americans woke up that day, heard that Georgia had been invaded, and flew into a mass panic, bought huge stocks of food, formed local militia and built baracades in case their state was the next unfortunate victim? If it’s any less that 100 millions I’ll be astounded.

Anyway, back to Bolt. It's so much his achievement as his attitude. Here's how his 100m record-breaking day went according to an interview.
"Got up, ate some nuggets, watched a little TV, went back to bed. Got up a few hours later, ate some more nuggets, then ran 100m in 9.7 seconds"

I wonder what those nuggets contain- chicken? vole? nandrolone? I say we should all adopt the relaxed Usain Bolt attitude to life. Everyone should start eating nuggets and just sleeping when they're not doing anything important.

If more people had had that approach to life just think where mankind would be now. If Einstein had spent more time relaxing with German reality TV and a bucket of KFC he could have invented a working time machine or proven mathematically that there is a God after all and he's very very angry with us...

If Gandhi had rested a little instead of tiring himself out with speeches, he could have raised a massive monk army that would have overwhelmed the British Empire and reduced it to the size of a small hamlet in Wiltshire.

If JFK had spent less time gallivanting to Berlin he could have been wise to his eventual assassination. Like a ninja, he could have sprung from behind the grassy knoll, wasted Lee Harvey Oswald with an uzi then driven the open-top limo at breakneck speed back to the hotel for a night of hot steamy fun with Jackie.
As it happened he was knackered so they shot him.

To cut a long story short: if you want to succeed in life, eat some nuggets and go back to bed.

Amen.