A pointless waste of my life..

Today, I wasted 8 hours on a management training course, 8 hours that on my deathbed.. I'll almost certainly want back.

The majority of the course is on communication.

"What is Communication?" declares the book.. As you know, this is a very simple question with a simple answer.. except it wasn't.

Apparantly, if you smile on the phone, people can tell. Bollocks, there is no way you can tell if someone is smiling via the medium of the telephone.. you can assume from their tone that they are, but thats it.

It didnt end there, we were told that other forms of communication were body language, music and singing, braille and e-mail. Certainly they are, however, how is this dicussion relevant to managing my warehouse?

I really can't recall the last time I wrote a haiku about how our trucks were overloaded, or displayed my stock levels to the board of directors using the medium of interpretive dance.

This rubbish is exactly why the economy is slowing down so badly, we all spend too much time pissing around. I honestly swear that in the upstairs office the other day, everyone was sat on the ground, throwing and catching "The Idea Ball"..

"oooohhh.. Catch the idea ball!"

"F**k off, and while you're at it.. do some work. I'm here 52 hours a week so you can f**k around catching the idea ball. I'm off now because there will be alot more foul language if I were to stay around."

It doesn't end there.. meetings are filled with words that don't really mean anything;

Imagineering, Brainstorm, Streamlining the business..

Am I the only one who thinks this is all crap? I certainly hope not, but rest assured I wasted the trainer's time as much as she wasted mine. There was a feedback sheet, it asked "What are your aims for this training session", my list was as follows;

Indulge you and get it over with

Get home

Fill my pockets with the free sandwiches at lunchtime

I'm proud to say, I acheived them all.. maybe not such a waste after all.