Tip-toeing The Thin Line Between Lord of the Rings and Reality

Well, it's been a while. Partially because I was suffering some ridiculous foreign disease (chicken pox) that made me look like a gory chocolate chip cookie and it may also have to do with the fact that the most exciting thing I've done in the past week was take showers (which, albeit, could be quite fun with the right kind of showerhead, no...) But this has nothing to do with sexual frustration, but rather to do with my newest plan to miss work/school.

Right now, the tentative plan is to y'know, watch movies, cavort about downtown Toronto (which is the only part that isn't utter shite), and seduce Viggo Mortensen. Well, actually that's not exciting at all. It's pretty routine stuff, but probably a lot more interesting considering it is Film Festival time which significantly highers my chances (on the sex with Aragorn front, that is).

Unfortunately, it's going to suck, because the only people who care are hipsters or Entertainment Tonight (which I absolutely don't watch ever). BUT it's North American and female (mostly) and shorter which gives me something to write about.

So far, I have been to the premieres of Burn After Reading, Blindness, Mia et le Migou (I was bored) and Wavelengths. Clearly, I haven't had sex with ANY fictional characters and am now short about $120.00 but that's okay (except for the part where I was not in Isildur's heir's bed.) But, on the bright side, I did meet Brad Pitt while getting hot dogs which I think is definitely foreshadowing of some sort (hopefully nothing to do with a sex change though.) The Coen brothers kicked ass, but unfortunately, I still can't tell them apart. And that was Burn After Reading.

The Blindness premiere, however, was way cooler than Burn After Reading because a) it had less old people and b) Gael Garcia Bernal. I also met with Dominic Monaghan and told him he looks "an awful lot like Dominic Monaghan" whereupon I was told by a Frenchman that it was, in fact, Dominic Monaghan. This sort of thing happens to me ALL THE TIME.

Then, I was told Adrien Brody was somewhere in the vicinity as well, and in a leather jacket to boot. After that I just sort of died of sexual frustration.

No, but the movies were great. Definitely worth checking out. So, all in all, it was alright, and Viggo Mortensen is still in town so at the very least, maybe he can tell me what Scotch eggs are (because he's supposed to know that kind of stuff.)