Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Shooting people - Cost effective?

I was a little stuck on what to write about today, so I asked for a bit of help from my Facebook friends.  Benji Hardcore came up with an interesting topic, his words were; ‘Why don’t you do an in-depth report on how it is more cost-effective to beat people to death rather than shoot them’.  He then added; ‘Use it or I will’.  So I thought ’screw you Ben-der Hardcore, it’s my topic now’.

I don’t really know how ‘in-depth’ I can get on this particular subject but I’ll have a bash.
To be fair, I have never owned a gun, nor have I ever shot anyone.  I have been informed by my local dodgy dealer that I could get a gun from Manchester for about £150.  It would probably be a modified replica but no doubt it would be good enough to ‘pop a cap in yo’ ass’.  However, I would then have to buy ammunition for it.  Ammo is pretty expensive I’ve heard.

So say I’m just out to get one person, it’s going to cost me like £200 to get the job done… quite expensive really.

If, on the other hand, I decided instead to just jump the cunt on his/her (I don’t discriminate when it comes to beating people) way home from the kebab shop on a Friday night, I could do that shit for free.  The only problem is that I then have to clean up, I mean, there’s going to be bits of face on my hands and clothes, which means I have to work out how to use the washing machine.  I guess I could get my Mum to do it though…

Anyway, to me, free definitely sounds better than £200.  So in this case I would have to say that shooting would not be cost effective.  Win for ‘just beating people’.

Does this translate to the military?

Hmmm… Now, our military is pretty big and they don’t use dodgy guns bought from ‘Big Dave’ who lives in Manchester, they are packing the real shit.  I mean there must be millions of pounds worth of guns within the British Armed Forces.  Although, it would be rather a lot harder to ‘just beat’ someone who is packing an RPG or who is strapped with plastic explosives.  So paying for the guns is probably worth it.  Win for ’shooting people’.

If however both parties involved in the fighting agreed to ‘just beat each other’ everything would be better.  It would be a totally fair fight, and also a lot cheaper for everyone.  No need for guns, tanks or armour.  Everyone could just meet up on a neutral piece of ground and have a massive fight.  Not only would it save both Nations money, it would also be truly awesome.  I would pay to watch that.  ESPN could PPV that shit.  Win for ‘beating people’.

So there we go.  In summary; just beat people.  Unless they are packing heat, in which case ‘bust a cap in them yo’.

This is a re-post from my new blog http://acynicsviewoftheworld.wordpress.com/ <--- Check that shit out. Seriously.

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Celebrity Deaths - We have a winner

Naturally, first up is the bit where we wish all our readers a very happy new year.. and all that.

Next though, it seems Adam is 2009's Celebrity Death Predictions winner. So, very well done indeed, you cheating bastard.

So, for our first post of the year there is good and bad news. As you can tell, things have been winding down here, because the written blog will be ending soon and will simply remain here as a shrine to our genius. The other news is that we shall live on via the medium of video/internet TV!

This is still being worked out, but expect us on your screens in the Spring.

Note, how I didnt specify which was the good or bad news? I'll leave that up to you.