The Secret Adventures of Tin-Tin

It seems the French are up in arms this week. Despite Shit cartoon creation TinTin actually being a Belgian, they have claimed him as their own and leapt to his defence after a Times Journalist implied he was a homosexual.

Not that this really matters, the only thing that ever bothered me about the show was how consistently shit it was.. just truly awful. However, not one to shy away from a fight I'd like to make our team's stance on TinTin clear. Tintinophiles as they like to be called (For the love of God.. WHY!!?!?), have taken offence at this so called slur, yet have they weighed up the evidence? This is what we do best here.. so we took an objective look.

It didn't bear well for the Belgian knobhead's legions of fans. As a team, we came to the conclusion that an androgynous, bequiffed young blonde boy with a penchant for small, fluffy white dogs, who moves into a mansion with a middle aged sailor and befriends two other inseperable men with moustaches could certainly be taken as gay. So, leave the poor journalist alone.

Certainly the two other men are in possession of quite the gayest moustaches seen in animation to date, ranking fourth on the industry standard gay scale;

1) Handlebar / porn tache
2) Gay Airline Pilot
3) Beppe Di Marco
4) Gay Detectives from Tin-Tin


For reference, the most manly of moustaches belongs to Des Lynam, behold: The Des Lynam Special;
Awesome.

Anyway, we have digressed. If you are still in any doubt over Tintin's sexual preferences, then check this out and doubt no longer. Knowledge is power people!;

The All-New Hardcore Challenge

As you know, we fucking love testing out theories and proving science wrong. This week I read that gay guys and metro sexuals are healthier, wealthier and more successful than us proper blokes.

This cannot stand, surely a few lifestyle changes can't have such a large effect on anyones life, so in usual style and to save you bothering we'll embark to find out if and why this fact is true, possibly.

Now I know what you're thinking; "Benji, you can't be gay, you can't grow a handlebar moustache for one thing" - This is true, but I can adopt some of the alarmingly feminine habits these guys use in the push for social success.
So, for this challenge Ravi shall continue living in our usual manly fashion, he'll be hitting things in the face, lighting fires for no real reason, shaving with a machete and having 3 portions of meat in every meal.


I will be.. eurgh.. "Taking care of myself", listening to pop music, watching chick flicks, attempting to cry at least twice a day, spend my weekends in primark with a load of girls, eating home-made healthy food and trying to learn what style is.

The challenge lasts until the 1st of August, whereupon I will be in KFC and the pub have a drunken fight quicker than you can say "What the hell are you looking at?".

The challenge started yesterday for me, first with the removal of all that stubble and then with something called ex-fol-i-at-ing, this is basically where, for no reason I can think of, you rub a tube of this stuff on your face which feels like your being attacked with a belt sander.. well until Mrs. Hardcore pointed out I was being a bit rough and should try and be "softer".. which is what this is all about.

Then, I was attacked with a moisturiser and watched a trailer for "Mamma Mia!"

Mrs. Hardcore approved of the new, softer, altogether less hardcore version of me. I didn't. No matter how nice I smell or how soft my face is I still want to see something explode and I still want a curry. To summarise this is going to be difficult, but it may all be worth it when my wages double and I get a new apartment, lets see.

Thought for the day - 23-05-08

Today's thought for the day is back on a serious moral issue;

Darth Vader: Evil villian or misunderstood gay paedophile dad?

First off, lets not forget his love of heavy breathing and gimp-like enjoyment of constricting leather outfits and masks. Then there is his unhealthy obsession with his son, which culminates in that classic line and real giveaway;

"My Son is here.... I Have.. Felt.. Him."

Need I say more? ok then, observe this sign of early abuse;




This level of abuse would also give rise to his obvious anger issues, as shown through this recreation made using lego;



Let me know what you think...