As you know, we fucking love testing out theories and proving science wrong. This week I read that gay guys and metro sexuals are healthier, wealthier and more successful than us proper blokes.
This cannot stand, surely a few lifestyle changes can't have such a large effect on anyones life, so in usual style and to save you bothering we'll embark to find out if and why this fact is true, possibly.
Now I know what you're thinking; "Benji, you can't be gay, you can't grow a handlebar moustache for one thing" - This is true, but I can adopt some of the alarmingly feminine habits these guys use in the push for social success.
So, for this challenge Ravi shall continue living in our usual manly fashion, he'll be hitting things in the face, lighting fires for no real reason, shaving with a machete and having 3 portions of meat in every meal.
I will be.. eurgh.. "Taking care of myself", listening to pop music, watching chick flicks, attempting to cry at least twice a day, spend my weekends in primark with a load of girls, eating home-made healthy food and trying to learn what style is.
The challenge lasts until the 1st of August, whereupon I will be in KFC and the pub have a drunken fight quicker than you can say "What the hell are you looking at?".
The challenge started yesterday for me, first with the removal of all that stubble and then with something called ex-fol-i-at-ing, this is basically where, for no reason I can think of, you rub a tube of this stuff on your face which feels like your being attacked with a belt sander.. well until Mrs. Hardcore pointed out I was being a bit rough and should try and be "softer".. which is what this is all about.
Then, I was attacked with a moisturiser and watched a trailer for "Mamma Mia!"
Mrs. Hardcore approved of the new, softer, altogether less hardcore version of me. I didn't. No matter how nice I smell or how soft my face is I still want to see something explode and I still want a curry. To summarise this is going to be difficult, but it may all be worth it when my wages double and I get a new apartment, lets see.
This cannot stand, surely a few lifestyle changes can't have such a large effect on anyones life, so in usual style and to save you bothering we'll embark to find out if and why this fact is true, possibly.
Now I know what you're thinking; "Benji, you can't be gay, you can't grow a handlebar moustache for one thing" - This is true, but I can adopt some of the alarmingly feminine habits these guys use in the push for social success.
So, for this challenge Ravi shall continue living in our usual manly fashion, he'll be hitting things in the face, lighting fires for no real reason, shaving with a machete and having 3 portions of meat in every meal.
I will be.. eurgh.. "Taking care of myself", listening to pop music, watching chick flicks, attempting to cry at least twice a day, spend my weekends in primark with a load of girls, eating home-made healthy food and trying to learn what style is.
The challenge lasts until the 1st of August, whereupon I will be in KFC and the pub have a drunken fight quicker than you can say "What the hell are you looking at?".
The challenge started yesterday for me, first with the removal of all that stubble and then with something called ex-fol-i-at-ing, this is basically where, for no reason I can think of, you rub a tube of this stuff on your face which feels like your being attacked with a belt sander.. well until Mrs. Hardcore pointed out I was being a bit rough and should try and be "softer".. which is what this is all about.Then, I was attacked with a moisturiser and watched a trailer for "Mamma Mia!"
Mrs. Hardcore approved of the new, softer, altogether less hardcore version of me. I didn't. No matter how nice I smell or how soft my face is I still want to see something explode and I still want a curry. To summarise this is going to be difficult, but it may all be worth it when my wages double and I get a new apartment, lets see.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment