Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Time for Testosterone!


I hereby accept Benji's macho-versus-metro challenge. But it's not enough simply carrying on with male stuff like jumpers for goalposts, scotch eggs and real ale. I need to up the ante...
Therefore I, my friends, will attempt to become a RETROSEXUAL- in the mold of Wayne Rooney, Ray Winston and Vinny Jones. It's the only way to properly see if Benji's theory is true or not. Several lifestyle changes will be effected ASAP.

-a nice short marine-style haircut and cold showers every morning

-got to start doing weights in the garage while listening to uberheavy metal. Henceforth, my muscles shall be called "my guns"

-no aftershave, only Slazenger Sport deodorant

-I will develop an unhealthy interest in carburretors

-I will begin attending masculine activities like badger-baiting, bullfighting and car shows

-I will start bragging about wounds if I get them

-Rather than worrying about stuff I will start DEALING WITH SHIT!

Any other lifestyle changing suggestions are welcome. If in a month I have clogged arteries, no cash and no mates then Benji's theory will have been proven right. Game on nancy boy!

No comments: