Throw Pillows and Flowers

The main problem with my part of the challenge so far is that trying to get in touch with my feminine side is tough when I don't seem to have one.

This morning I caught part of some obscure movie and all the while I was mentally baying; "Punch him! Punch him in his stupid face!" at the film's hero, whilst a small part of me knew this was unlikely as said hero was a 4'9" woman in tears and a dress.

This requires remedial action if I am to be successful, so we're borrowing a copy of "P.S.I love you" from Laura at work, who told me today that she cried beginning to end at this film in the cinema to the extent it actually embarrased her sister. This will either break me or prove I am infact in possesion of the worlds coldest and blackest of hearts.

I also took time out to read some women's magazines because we don't typically keep a backstock of "Gay Times" on the coffee table. I consider it an insult to my ass that I had to sit on it and read this pathetic, misguided, shallow and stupid schoolgirl crap. How women eat this stuff up I'll never know. "Jordan says; Come and see my new loft extension", "Lose 12lbs in 15 minutes" and a personal favourite- "Change your man in 3 months"

There are so many blatant lies in this magazine that I'm not going to even scratch the surface but let me share with you two nuggets of wisdom, from a man so you know they're accurate.
1- You can never really change a man, you can just get him to tolerate playing by your rules.
2- His friends will never TRULY like you, when you're around the whole dynamic of the group changes.. The jokes, the conversations, the venues and the atmosphere change, as does your bloke. His mates don't like it, and so they probably don't like you. The only exception to this rule I've found, and thus it is the exception that proves the rule, is Mrs. v1.0. Either way this is ok, another thing these magazines omit to tell you is its OK that not everyone will like you.

So, with this experience out of the way I set off to work, attempting to contemplate why flowers are so great and the point of throw pillows. I found an answer to neither, Imust need more moisturiser.