The futures bright, the futures white..

Well, even though we've only just hit July, talk of the new European snowboard season has been flooding in. The plans of various brands, new board releases and the competition calender.

Incase your wondering, I'll be doing fuck all, but I digress,

The point of today's post is to summarise the entire massive digest of pre-season snow flavoured news in a few paragraphs. SO, here is what will happen in near chronological order, for the benefit of those who don't know..or care.

* Someone will invent a new kind of core for your board, albeit that the one they invented last season and charged £699 of your hard earned for, was supposed to be the pinnacle of technology, and plain old wood was fine for many years.

* A pro-rider will come out and claim there are no new tricks or styles to discover in snowboarding, then someone else will prove them totally wrong.

* Someone I've personally met will have an "annual-I-Know-Ben" horrific dryslope accident

* I'll promise to attain a new board, and then immeadiatly return to my 4 year old Ride Yukon thats far too big for indoor use. * Everyone with a trustfund and a name such as Bunty, will flood to the best resorts in France and proceed to ruin them on their gay skis and gay jumpsuits by tracking out all the best lines.

* The people of Scotland will attempt to maintain a serious expression while lying that Scotland is a valid Snowboard destination

* Shaun White will win the Burton European Open, with Burton Sponsorship, despite not being European. * To celebrate this, Jake Burton will buy the soul of yet another brand.

* Everyone in the world will sign for the DC snow team, until they remember that despite owning "The Mountain Lab" they are actually a skate shoe brand, and then they will join quiksilver in the "Corner of Shame" on the charges of knowing fuck all about snowboarding.

There we go, with that out the way we can forget about this circus till next year eh?

Pub anyone?