We heard recently for example that the average woman will spend one year and four months, or 12,012.92 hours, of her life crying. Teenage girls clocking up an impressivly emotional two hours and thirteen minutes a week crying like.. erm.. a girl.
Men spend over a year of their lives somewhat more constructively by looking at women they don't know when they shouldn't be.
Women earn the equivalent average of $1 million less than men in the same job over a full working lifetime, and we're told that an average person eats 10 spiders in their life, while sleeping. Yet, none of those examples feel like a tangible fact, you still don't really appreciate the gravity of facts like those, so, since this life assessment lark is all the rage I've begun work on my own little project.
The Hardcore Effect Pile Of Crap.
Over the next twelve months, I will be monitoring [because I'm curious about it] how much time I spend doing stuff I really don't want to. The rules are really quite simple;
-Work is not included, and so time measured can only be taken from what would otherwise be free time.
-I must express clearly that I have no wish to participate in said actvity.
-The moment I begin to participate in such a task in anyway, the clock is started. My free time has been priced at a rather paltry £2 per hour, which is a fucking bargain.
-Money earned over this period must then be spent on crap. The rules for selection allow only items that are random, pointless, broken or hideous.
-Every month, these items must be placed into The Hardcore Effect Pile Of Crap to be photographed, prices must be recorded. Thus progress is monitored.
I started today, after I was dragged to Lancaster to go shopping, which is the fifth worst thing that can happen to a man after serious testicle trauma, catching ebola, being set on fire and catching a bus. Thanks to inexplicably bad traffic the whole debacle took an impressive 5 hours, which earned me ten pounds to spend on utter crap.
I chose to put a tick next to the random party today and decided to find the most out-of-place and pointless item I could. How the winner ended up in a branch of TK Maxx in Lancaster I will never know, but, today ladies and gentlemen I came home with the away shirt of Austrian Premier Division football team, Red Bull Salzburg. It's a bit rubbish and has made me truly happy.
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