The Ocean is not the only Barrier

I like Americans.

I especially like Canadians.

I'm not so fond of France, as was once said "France, like Wales, is a beautiful country.. ruined completely by the people who live there."

Yet, in the past week I've found myself siding with the Frenchies more than Id perhaps expect, because it seems that any debate I get into with most North Americans.. no matter how eloquent, politely voiced and correct my opinion.. results in a barrage of misguided anti-european rhetoric and constant, over-inflated claims of saving Europe.

"We saved your asses in the war!" is one of my favourites, whenever I gain the upper hand in any dispute.. this is the big gun that is always wheeled out by every ignorant moron and narrow-minded simpleton who ruins the reputation of the vast majority of North Americans who have a brain.

It annoys me for a few reasons, namely ; 1) Its a very big and arrogant claim to make, 2) The person making the claim was invariably not involved in said conflict and 3) Its not really true.

However, I'm not going to get drawn into another debate with people who receive all their history lessons courtesy of their DVD player. I'm here instead to instill that most British of traits, Tolerance.

One chap only today decided to let rip on the subject of my country.. a place he has niether visited nor lived in. Claiming the UK is "A huge welfare state".. I can tolerate that comment.

I tolerate it because I am safe in the knowledge that its not true, we have some of the highest levels on employment in the world, and the very highest standards in literacy. British made industrial and engineering components have the lowest rejection rate from their customers of any on the planet.

I'm always told that we rely on American investment, technology and protection.. again not true.
We invented the jet engine, the scramjet, radar, the television, the internet, the railroad, James Bond, the hovercraft, Depth charges, the bouncing bomb, Disc brakes, electromagnets, the electric motor, the fax machine, holography [holograms], Penicillin, Australia, the periscope, polyester, the submarine and most importantly, toilet paper.

We had the largest empire in the history of the planet, containing 1/4 of the world's population and 1/3 of its land surface.

We got the Zulu nation to surrender in around 30 minutes.. the shortest war in history. All the cruise missiles in the world didn't scare Saddam enough to wave his white flag at that rate.

Yet, we don't keep going on about it.

As much as I love Americans, you have made cheap cars that won't turn corners, used the movie U-571 to claim you captured the enigma coding machine from the Germans- when it was actually us, lost in vietnam, held the olympics and chosen to broadcast your most ignorant of views on the world while being home to possibly the largest proportion of non-passport holders in the world.

All this in itself isn't so bad, but the problem is.. like us in Britain, your period of dominance in the world is at an end. It's Chinas turn next.

Forget Russia and the US as the world's superpowers, its going to be China and the European Union. Economically, you are in a serious mess. On the foreign policy front, you are hopelessly ignorant, and unbelieveably arrogant.

This behaviour cannot continue because your time at the top of the tree is over. So, let's stop the unpleasantness, yeah?