Sunday 17 August 2008

Latest Olympic news


All the latest scoops from Beijing, hot off the press.

-Britain soar up the medal table by plundering the "specialist" events of pony trecking, yachting, extreme ironing and dogging
-Middle aged men who should know better try not to touch themselves as they watch pre-teens prancing in leotards. Another day of women's gymnastics...
-Britain win a bronze on the pommel horse. Ex-Blue Peter presenter Matt Baker gets overexcited causing him to fall headfirst into a pit of eels
-Everyone agrees that China can keep Tibet after all, and as a reward for staging such a bloody good Olympics they can have Bhutan as well

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