Sky Piracy. The best job in the World.

Today, I have the exact opposite of writer's block. My head is awash with so many ideas and topics that I'm restraining mysel from allowing it all to flood out now and leave me with nothing to write about for some weeks. However, before we begin;

Just so you know, the idea of switching to this new format is to make my blog, videos and everything else totally interactive.. just like everything else in the world. Please feel free to bombard me with your thoughts, ideas, comments, photos, videos and anything else. I will try and show as much as I can and will do my best to answer all questions. Got a problem? Uncle Benji is here for you.. well most of the time anyway.

Right, with that out of the way time to crack on with today's topic. I'm starting with one I felt was perhaps weaker than my other ideas as I want each days update to be prgressivly better and more personal than the last. Today's topic is a pretty generic question we've all pondered, but with a very unique answer on my part.

What would you do in the event of a lottery win? We've all wondered, dreamed and maybe even lived the experience, but truth be told if you have spent your life with almost no money what do you do when you find yourself suddenly awash with cash?

Give it to charity? Fuck off and stop lying to me.

Take your mates on Holiday? Hmm... original.

A Massive house and fleet of expensive cars? Just to check, you are cool with everyone hating you and possibly beating you around the face and neck then? Cool-io.

What would I do then? Well, upon telling Mike v.1.0 this today he was quite surprised at my answer, declaring that I "continue to astound me in ever more bizarre and interesting ways."
At least I keep it fresh, eh?


My Masterplan is all down to a pact I share with my childhood friend, Joe. We both agree that the whole damn world and his wife thake themselves far too seriously. The world has lost all sense of magic and wonder and nobody does anything original, inventive or interesting these days. So, with that in mind, we would pool any cash winfall and purchase.. A Zeppelin. That's correct, an Airship, a Blimp, whatever you want to call it.

It's a method of transport so whimsical and wonderful you just know Willy Wonka has one somewhere. It would of course be elaborate in its design, with solar panels for power, a system to get a water supply from rainfall and moisture in the air, high-speed broadband, a huge T.V. and a party loungue with a glass floor and walls so you can lazily float over a city at night, all the lights twinkling away below as you party the night away. Imagine to possibilities for sex on a floor like that! Sound a bit far-fetched all this? You have to agree its surely not beyond the realm of human invention, so the question needn't be why? It should be why not?

As a species we never do anything any more just for the hell of it. No moon landings, No pointless large bridges over vast chasms, No solar powered supersonic paragliders. Nothing.
Its all about image, being wealthy and being seen at the right parties, and it pisses me right off. Especially as this zeppelin would have enormous potential. Imagine the stories I'd have living and travelling on such a Zeppelin with the whole crew. Spending all the dough on a personal party Zeppelin/palace in the sky may sound a bit selfish, but its really not.

I'd have many opportunities to be all benevolant, with our high-speed internet connection and scrolling message boards on the side I could travel the world spreading the message of love, giving sound financial advice, showing marriage proposals, dropping aid in Sudan and making charity appearances. Raffling tickets for charity to party on The Hardcore Zeppelin.

There are other benefits that aren't immeadiatly obvious. Firstly, on all my official documents I could change my occupation to "Sky Pirate" or "Explorer/adventurer extraordinaire".
Secondly, parking or going to the pub would be so easy, just slide down a rope, knife in teeth right outside the pub. Drinking and driving? no sir. You can hardly arrest Admiral Hardcore for flying the world's slowest and gayest Zeppelin under the influence of 12 pints of Carling.

Theres more too, imagine this over your hometown on a night out, scrolling a message downt he side such as; "Benji Hardcore Says: Always tell your Mum where you are going"

If this whole concept doesn't sound like the best idea ever to you, then frankly I imagine you are a very dull person who votes conservative and goes to village fetes.

So if you fancy doing me some concept drawings, I'd love to see them.