The Hardcore guide to the Metrosexual look

Hello there friends, let your old uncle ben take you by the hand and lead through the garden of wonders that is, Metrosexuality.

As we know, Metrosexuality is looking a bit gay, but actually being straight. We also know its for pussys, effeminite men and spice boys. Although maybe this could all be a mis-understanding of the key points, so to clear up why not journey with me now as you take a look at the shit I go through to write stuff for you all, you ungrateful bunch of bastards.

Step 1 - Look like shit, ok we've got that covered, lets move on.

Step 2 - Pick out a suitably gay shirt, wash your face and apply some flowery scented face pack. Its important to remember its just chemicals and mud, so don't spend too much.. you're still a bloke damn it! The choice of shirt is also important, gays would opt for a tight fitting shirt whereas metros and stylish guys would go for the look I have here, this is known as "The Dan Hendrie" shirt.

Step 3 - Wash off face mask, Jump in shower, change [.. again] into another suitably gay shirt and shave that man stubble away!

Step 4 - Moisturise.. like a true woman

Step 5 - Check yourself in the mirror

Step 6 - Adopt a truly annoying and smug facial expression and start teaching yoga.

There you go, now you too can adopt the Hardcore Effect Metro look, just sit back and watch the chicks and the money fly in.

Social success in 6 easy steps, enjoy!