Another Perspective

Well, Sweden are out. Gutted doesn't even begin to describe my feelings as I lay there, in the foetal position, crying like a Welsh sheperd who is allergic to wool.

I have however, started to see a silver lining, as have the team.

Kim Kallstrom is very pleased, not only has he now earned his International football badge for scouts, but his visit to Austria has allowed him to complete his collection of contemporary European postage stamps.

Freddie Ljungberg now has more time to shop for tight pants without all that bloody football getting in the way.

Lars Lagerback can go back to brewing a new kind of lager that whitens teeth. Petter Hansson can get back to work in that home for vulnerable children. Olof Mellberg has taken up cage fighting and has developed a love of new hobby, In a recent interview with us he said; "I fucking love Kangaroo fighting, girls love it, nothing sexier than kicking the shit out of a Kangaroo. People say they can box, but they aren't shit."

On a negative note, easily influenced goalkeeper Andreas Isaksson has taken to copying Mellberg believing the animal fighting to be something to do with sexual dominance and mating rights, he was arrested last night after posting a video on Youtube of himself kicking a marmot until it agreed to have sex with him.

As for my silver lining, sure it was hard seeing Sweden lose, even harder than seeing England lose, but it wasn't as hard as finding out Dr. Oetker isn't Swedish and at least i got to drink my own body weight in Kopparberg.

As for now, I throw my support behind the Dutch. All those drugs they take, at least one of them must be performance enhancing.

--Match Predictions--
While Ravi, or should I say Jurgen, polishes his crystal balls and fucks around with tarot cards, which by the way are fucking shit for playing snap. I've taken my usual approach and shall predict the game using logic, psychology and body language analysis.

so, lets begin.

Slaven Bilic, all I sense from him is repressed homosexuality. Stock footage shows him fellating a badger filled sausage in the team hotel over dinner, and he has an earring which is a dead giveaway. His eye certainly roves in the direction of Luka Modric and his tight, tight shorts.

Luka is quite open to the idea but isn't really gay, he just flirts with the fashion.

The sexual tension will be cause for concern as Luka's team-mates clearly sense something is up.

The Turks will pounce on this, and I dont mean in the way Slaven would enjoy, and will beat Croatia 2-1. Afterwards, to celebrate the team will return to serving drinks in their own hotel and seducing any 14 year old girls that are holidaying there.