Right- let's have a go. I've lit some joss sticks, made a dream catcher out of gaffa tape & pigeon feathers and peered into my crystal ball. Remember Mystic Meg? That was me that was- she didn't know shit.
My cards (available in all good book stores retailing at £4.99) reveal the following about tonight's match:
- Croatia have victory within their grasp and should get the result they hope for. However, we should expect the unexpected and victory is likely to come from a penalty or taking a crazy chance. Slaven Bilic will sneeze 8 times during the match but it won't make the papers.
- Turkey, buoyed by a pre-match meal of penna arabiata, will make a bright start, but ultimately their players will succumb to the pressure. The loss of their captain through suspension means they will lack direction and come up short. Emre's son will eventually work in a bank.
- Croatia will not beat Germany in the next round unless they stick rigidly to their game plan. Key player is Niko Kovac- and his performance will make or break their Euro 2008 campaign. Kovac will retire after the tournament and open a Medieval themed B&B with Goran Ivanisevic.
There we go- the pagan gods have spoken!
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