Wednesday 25 June 2008

The great debate: ARE MONKEYS EVIL?



This started as a semi-drunken conversation but I've been literally inundated with comments and messages about this interesting conundrum. Apparently all monkeys are evil and are hellbent on destroying humans- their less hairy, slightly more intelligent and sarcastic brothers. Personally I quite like monkeys because


-they're too much like us to eat one
-they paint quite well
-they don't take life as seriously as us. We should learn from that.


In order to shed some light on the question I've composed a list of evil and good monkeys so that we can see how they balance out.

Evil monkeys

The flying ones in the Wizard of Oz
The orangutans in the Jungle Book
Most of the Apes in Planet of the Apes
Evil monkey that lives in Chris from Family Guy's closet
Cuddles
Cocoa Monkey (if you're lactose intolerant)

Good monkeys

The PG tips monkeys
Bollo from The Mighty Boosh
Those scientist apes in Planet of the Apes
King Kong
Cocoa Monkey
Bubbles (Michael Jackson's pet)
Cadbury's drum gorilla
Curious George
Jonny Vegas's Monkey pal

See? There are clearly way more good monkeys than evil monkeys. If I've missed any out let me know. What is the reason for this anti-monkey conspiracy? Is it a freemason conspiracy? Does the price of oil have anything to do with it?

I WANT ANSWERS.

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