A history lesson...

Ben-as everyone knows, Sweden is not actually a country. Sweden is a media studies project cobbled together in 1972 by a group of stoned Dutch students on a tight deadline- flat pack furniture, incomplete sandwiches, vinegary fish...it's all just the ramblings of a junkie.

A total contrast to the rich and proud history of the Democratic Republic of Germany, which I will try and summarise in a few short paragraphs.

Early Germany- fearsome bearded Gothic tribes that terrified the Romans with the sheer efficiency of their drunken nudity.

Medieval Germany- nice cloth markets, bratwurst invented, stolen by Holy Roman Empire for a bit, Martin Luther nailed summit to a door and the pope got a bit pissed off...
To summarise, lots of naughty princes in silly castles.

Modern Germany- Bismarck comes along, military expansion and pointy hats all round. Clobber the French, lose a war, do some nice paintings and films, economy goes pear-shaped, arson by some Austrian who gets elected chancellor. Invades most of Europe, gets beat, divided into pieces, commies get some, rock 'n' roll comes along, commies get annoyed, build wall. Red flags and sports days for the east, doughnuts, nice cars and lederhosen for the west. Shell suits and mullets for everyone.

Post Modern Germany- wall falls down, do a bit of NATO, play some football, do some banking, general efficiency.... but always time for a beer and some currywurst.
Over 2000 years of history in 90 seconds. Not bad eh?

As for Swedish history, I've read this month's Ikea catalogue: thus I know it all.